Tuesday, February 23, 2010

The Fixing of Purim part /2

Why is it that when you are drunk you can’t stand on your feet right; you can’t walk? There is a level that my service of G-d is standing before G-d; walking in G-d’s way. Then there is a level even if I am not walking, and even if I can’t stand, I’m still serving G-d in a crazy way that Is even deeper. On Purim we reach the high level that we can’t stand, we can’t walk, but we are still the greatest servants of G-d.

What happens when you are drunk? You have strange kind of imagination right? The holiest faculty G-d has given us is imagination. Holy imagination. On Purim we get drunk and we mamash imagine the holiest things in the world. We imagine that there is no evil in the world. This is the holiest level a drunkard can reach.

The hardest time to be aware of G-d is when you eat. Usually when people eat they are so aware of themselves because they are feeding their bodies. It is hard to be aware of G-d when you pray, but it is not that hard. It is really hard when you eat and drink. The more you eat, the less you aware of G-d. The more you drink, the less you are aware of G-d. Purim, we reach the high level the we eat all day long, we drink all day, and the way we understand G-d on that day is like never, never before. On Purim I understand that there is one G-d like I don’t understand it all year, and not by studying not even by talking. By eating, drinking and giving each other gifts.

On no other day in the world is the great light shining that we mamash want to get close to G-d again. Not only I want to do G-d’s will, not only do I want to do what is right, not only I want to fulfill my mission in life. One day a year I just want to be so close to G-d. If I want to be close to G-d I can eat and drink also. I can be half drunk and eat all day long; it just doesn’t matter if my heart is burning up; I just want to be close to G-d. The greatest evil in the world is that we keep away from one another. On Purim the great light is shining that everything is close.

Evil is always new. Imagine, if you do something wrong, you swear to yourself you’ll never do it again, right? How come evil comes to you again the next day? The answer is very simple. Evil is really new all the time. Evil has a newness. How do you fight evil? With even more newness! With the utmost newness in the world. On Purim G-d gives us this tremendous holy newness, mamash I am really starting all over again. Yom Kippur, holy as we are, we still talk about what we did yesterday. So it’s still not completely new. Purim, I don’t talk about what happened yesterday. I don’t even talk about what will happen tomorrow. I am just here.

Why aren’t we Yiddelach as we ought to be? Because we have this evil which comes to us and says it is another world. now. Okay. When Moses stood at Mt. Sinai it was very sweet, but now it’s another world. Evil wants to cut us off from G-d because of the newness of the world. In a 747 you don’t have to believe in G-d; when you were on a camel it was okay to believe in G-d. The thing which is the most beautiful thing in the world is that the world is always new, that new things are happening. Evil wants to take this newness and tear us away from G-d. Purim is the one day that we take all this newness and say, “Because of this newness I want to be a servant of G-d.”

Why am I a little bit bad? Nebekh, I wanted to be good at one time or another. So I started praying so hard, and it looked to me as if G-d didn’t care. He didn’t answer my prayer. I tried so hard. For years I try to be better and it does not work. The greatest thing is, Purim, suddenly I realize it isn’t true. I am getting better. G-d heard every prayer. Purim I realize that I am so close to G-d I know He was listening all the time. Imagine I talk to someone on the telephone and I think the other person hung up. Then I realize I wasn’t even talking on the telephone– I was talking to Him in person. He was actually standing right next to me the entire time.

Purim was initiated by Mordechai and Esther. Two people. A lot of people say, “If I would hear it directly from G-d I would believe it, but if I hear it from someone else I don’t want to believe it.” This is all evil tricks. How do you want G-d to talk to you? Maybe this is the way G-d is talking to you. The holiness of Purim is this is the first holiday which was initiated by two little Yiddelach, Mordechai and Esther. We believe in them. We knew this is G-d telling us. The moment you listen to other people, you know G-d is talking to you through them, there is so much love in the air. If I would mamash believe that every word I hear is a message from G-d, then there is no evil anymore. So Purim is the great holiday when we listen to each other, we give gifts to each other, we eat, we drink, and we know that everything we hear is a little message from G-d.

Just one more sweet little thing. You know on Purim we read the story of the Megilla. Reb Nachman says the whole thing of Purim is the story. You have to listen to the story. Reb Nachman said G-d created man because He loves stories. The whole world is G-d telling a story. G-d is telling us stories, creating the world, creating people, telling long stories. There is such a thing as prayer, which is very deep, but, Reb Nachman says, prayer is not the deepest depths of closeness to G-d. The deepest depths of closeness to G-d is when you can tell G-d a story. The Tree of Knowledge is theories and the Tree of Life is stories. Everything we understand comes from our consciousness. Where do stories originate? From our imagination. The truth is, the story comes from beyond my consciousness, but flows into my consciousness. The story is really beyond. Reb Nachman says that when you dream you always dream stories, not theories. When your imagination is completely free, then you dream stories. When people sit and tell each other stories then they really can become friends.

Purim everything is on the level of stories. Even while I am drunk and I am telling G-d everything I did wrong in my heart, I tell it in the way of a story. Anyway, Purim is the great holiday of stories; you have to be really good and high and drunk to be able to tell your story to G-d.

In Sanz, every year on Purim the. Rebbe, would call out, “Even a person for whom all the Gates of Heaven were closed, even a person who did wrong and could never repent, on Purim they are right there. The Gates of Heaven open, and G-d is with you all the way.”


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